Yippee V Day. Whatever.

Valentines Day is a sham people.*

Do you really need corporations to tell you when to take your significant other out for a meal, when to buy your honey some flowers, when to give you sweetie-pie some candy, when to give your true love diamonds and when to fuck your lover?**
This isn't coming from a bitter cat lady place. Although I am single and I do have a cat. But you can ask my ex- boyfriends, I've always thought valentines day is contrived.

*Unless you are a kid and you make those cool mailboxes and give each other teen-age mutant ninja turtle and powderpuff girl cards and your mom and dad gives you chocolate and the boy you like in school gives you a flower.
** I am not a blogger fucker, but if I was,Dan from redacted blog would be my love object. Unfortunaely, if you read his blog you'll see someone named "Brooke" beat me to him. Here's his blog- http://redactedblog.blogspot.com/ and I am mentioning it because on his blog today he had a link to this site- http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/
It's tons o' fun!

This wasn't going to be what I wrote about but I am brain dead from 7 hours of coat-checking rich people's coats. Man that is a crappy job but I am po (you know poor but so poor I can't afford the o r, yup, brain dead) so I had to take it. Hell is 7 hours of listening to Micheal Bolton. Too many furs and smelly rubber boots. Speaking of rubber boots I wore boots that were not weather proof and I thought I got frostbite earlier.
I know I have been wishing for snow. I fell 3 times today. Not as much fun as I remembered. No snow angels, no snowmen, no snow fights. Nope. I got snow and wind beating against my face, almost broke my leg a few times, just about slipped in front of a car and my toes almost fell off. Not so fun. But tomorrow, I am wearing wool socks, my fake Uggs, I don't care how uggly they are, thermal undies and my hat with flaps.
I may look like a freak but damn it I will be warm (er).

I am hardly working (for money, that is) this week because I am performing in "The Vagina Monologues" beginning tomorrow night. Otherwise known as the VJ-J show. There are alot of slang words for vagina and in the first part of the show 3 of the VJ-J girls go down a list of them... some I have never heard.
There is VJ-J, Mookie, Pookie, Pouchie, Couchie Snortcher, Glady's Seagelman, Twat, Mushmellow, Pussycat, Peepe, Poopelu, Niche, Mimi, Labbe, Split Knish, and Cooter (my personal fav). Feel free to add to the list. Seriously though, have you ever heard of some of these... split knish for example, funny and kinda gross, but never heard of it. Maybe I'll ask them at Katz's on Houston St.
I want to go to Bikram yoga at the crack of dawn so I better hit the sack. Plus, Bert, the cat is waiting for me to spoon.