Friday, March 16, 2007

Observations from a coffee shop on Avenue A

Snow! Snow! Snow!
I love it but I wish it could be like when I was a kid in Florida and my summer camp would have Christmas in July and bring in fake snow. It would be like 90 degrees and we'd be in our bathing suits just coming from swimming and we'd frolic around and make snow angels and pretend to ski.
I've left my cave and ventured out into this snowstorm (wow, the way people react to the 2 inches that have accumulated... aren't northerners accustomed to this stuff). My Internet is playing hard to get so I came out to Bagel Zone! Sounds like a theme park. Take a ride on the giant bagel at Bagel Zone!
Anyhoo, I came here to look at backstage.com online and submit my stuff, look at apt. postings b/c I will be homeless in 2 weeks unless I sort out my living situation, check email/ myspace etc and here are my observations in list form.
1. Mothers are annoying
People often complain about children being annoying. What is really truly annoying is parents screaming for Isabelle and Jacob and Emily to stop this, sit here... and the 20 questions they play w/ the kids... do you want juice? Juice? Juice? Milk? Vitamin Water? Gator-Aid? Hot Chocolate? Milk Chocolate? Tea with honey? Just plain water? No, you can't have soda Isabelle! Sit still Jacob. What are you doing Jacob! Give me that Jacob. Just give the child a drink already and shut the fuck up.
2. Big gaps in teeth are disturbing
This woman sitting opposite me is not homeless. She is actually attractive, Asian 20-30 something, trendy east village type,YET she has a huuugggeeeeee gap, NO, not a gap...she looks like someone knocked her in the mouth. Maybe she's a boxer. Like Tanya Harding...have you seen her lately---
3. What is up w/ slurping drinks?
I almost gave this 20-30 something year old girl a lesson on swallowing her drink instead of slurping it like a 5 year old. What part of slurping a drink not completely annoying?