I wish I was a cat except for having no thumbs and having to eat cat food

This is Bert. Bert has a pretty good life. Yesterday his day consisted of him getting a drink of water, eating a little bit of food and then climbing back on to the loft bed (his new trick, it's hilarious, he kinda just hangs on to the side and pole vaults his body onto the bed) and then sleep, lots of sleep.
Bert and I watched The Departed in the evening. Bert is convinced Martin Scorsese will win the Oscar on Sunday because it is his time after all. He liked the movie and all and we both agree the acting is superb but he pointed out a few inconsistencies in the film. Like why did Leo give an envelope to the psychiatrist to hold on to if it was going to be inconsequential?
Anyways, I am having trouble getting motivated to do anything. Probably the only reason I left the house today is because I have a meeting at work and I will be fired unless I attend.
I'm at a coffee shop, Cake Shop on Ludlow, w/ my laptop...Lappy. No, kidding my computer's name isn't Lappy. That would be stupid. Her name is Lola.
I'm being good, I am not having any cake even though the cupcakes look like to die for. But it smells like curry in here. Ehhhhh, not so appetizing.
I better run to my meeting. Also I just made a fart noise with my mouth and I am getting looks.

Vagina Monologues opens

I'm exhausted. Tonight we had an invited dress rehearsal for "The Vagina Monologues". There were problems to put it mildly. One of the actress showed up merely minutes before we were meant to go on.
I'm going to keep the shit-talking to a minimum. I guess that means I should sign-off for tonight.

I want to break up with blogger

That's all I got to say to blogger right now. I am spending way, way too much time trying to do what you would think is, simple things.

Yippee V Day. Whatever.

Valentines Day is a sham people.*

Do you really need corporations to tell you when to take your significant other out for a meal, when to buy your honey some flowers, when to give you sweetie-pie some candy, when to give your true love diamonds and when to fuck your lover?**
This isn't coming from a bitter cat lady place. Although I am single and I do have a cat. But you can ask my ex- boyfriends, I've always thought valentines day is contrived.

*Unless you are a kid and you make those cool mailboxes and give each other teen-age mutant ninja turtle and powderpuff girl cards and your mom and dad gives you chocolate and the boy you like in school gives you a flower.
** I am not a blogger fucker, but if I was,Dan from redacted blog would be my love object. Unfortunaely, if you read his blog you'll see someone named "Brooke" beat me to him. Here's his blog- http://redactedblog.blogspot.com/ and I am mentioning it because on his blog today he had a link to this site- http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/
It's tons o' fun!

This wasn't going to be what I wrote about but I am brain dead from 7 hours of coat-checking rich people's coats. Man that is a crappy job but I am po (you know poor but so poor I can't afford the o r, yup, brain dead) so I had to take it. Hell is 7 hours of listening to Micheal Bolton. Too many furs and smelly rubber boots. Speaking of rubber boots I wore boots that were not weather proof and I thought I got frostbite earlier.
I know I have been wishing for snow. I fell 3 times today. Not as much fun as I remembered. No snow angels, no snowmen, no snow fights. Nope. I got snow and wind beating against my face, almost broke my leg a few times, just about slipped in front of a car and my toes almost fell off. Not so fun. But tomorrow, I am wearing wool socks, my fake Uggs, I don't care how uggly they are, thermal undies and my hat with flaps.
I may look like a freak but damn it I will be warm (er).

I am hardly working (for money, that is) this week because I am performing in "The Vagina Monologues" beginning tomorrow night. Otherwise known as the VJ-J show. There are alot of slang words for vagina and in the first part of the show 3 of the VJ-J girls go down a list of them... some I have never heard.
There is VJ-J, Mookie, Pookie, Pouchie, Couchie Snortcher, Glady's Seagelman, Twat, Mushmellow, Pussycat, Peepe, Poopelu, Niche, Mimi, Labbe, Split Knish, and Cooter (my personal fav). Feel free to add to the list. Seriously though, have you ever heard of some of these... split knish for example, funny and kinda gross, but never heard of it. Maybe I'll ask them at Katz's on Houston St.
I want to go to Bikram yoga at the crack of dawn so I better hit the sack. Plus, Bert, the cat is waiting for me to spoon.

marriages and death

In yahoo news today: Two pigs wearing tailor-made wedding outfits "tied the knot" in a ceremony attracting hundreds of well-wishers at a small town in northeastern Taiwan.

And two PEOPLE who are the same sex cannot be married?

I haven't posted in awhile and actually I am procrastinating. I planned to spend this time working on my monologue for "The Vagina Monologues".
I do plan on posting more often.

Yesterday Anna Nicole Smith died from what looks like an overdose. Everyone and their grandmother have something to say about this so I'll keep my thoughts brief.
I was really struck by her mother's comments about how she warned Anna Nicole to be careful who she hung out with and that she did too many drugs.
This is the mother of a woman who, when barely a woman, was a topless dancer and married/ pregnant at a very young age, a mother of a woman who in her early 20's married a man in his 90's, a man she made "happy" when they met at a gentleman's club. A woman who changed her name to become someone else. I don't know what her relationship was with her mother but I have a feeling her mother is a big part of all the factors that occured and shaped Anna Nicole's life and her untimely death.